Making friends is one of the most important skills one can ever learn. People who have friends tend to be happier, healthier, and live longer. They also seem to enjoy life in a more robust way. But what if you struggle to make friends? What if you don’t feel that your social skills are not up to the task of helping you to find good friends? No worries! We will give you eight practical ways that you can use right now to help you make friends instantly.
1. People are like mirrors.
What is meant by the statement, “People are like mirrors”? People respond to you the way you respond to them, just like the person in the mirror. If you smile, they smile. If you frown, they frown. In fact, however you act, you elicit a mirror response of the person or people with whom you are interacting. So, it is up to you to create a positive impact. Act toward everyone the way you would want them to act toward you. If you like when people smile, then smile first. If you like when people compliment you, compliment them before they compliment you. In this way, you set the tone for a positive relationship.
2. Remember names
A person’s name is the most important word in their language or any other language. That’s why personalized mugs and shirts with people’s names on them are such a great hit. Always make a serious effort to learn the names of the people you meet. Go through the trouble and don’t think you are wasting their time or annoying them. People love when you spend time learning about anything related to them, especially something as personal as their name.
Remember what we stated earlier, about people responding to you the same way you do to them? Well, smiling is the simplest way to make a memorable impression because it says, more than almost anything you can do, that you like the person. A smile is even more powerful sometimes than saying, “I like you.” A smile radiates warmth, even through a phone. That’s why salespersons are told to use “smile power” when they are speaking, even though the person on the other end cannot see them smiling. A smile forces the person smiling to act in a “smiling” way. And when you smile at people, they reflect back to you, what you are giving them.
4. Speak to people from their perspectives.
People like to talk about themselves, their families and their hobbies. Finding common topics of conversation should not be difficult for a person willing to listen. Participating and listening attentively to a person’s conversation can send the message that what’s important to them it’s important to you as well, and they are 10 times more likely to listen to you and cooperate.
5. Stay active and energetic.
Make sure you keep your energy level up. You don’t have to fake it, but try to spend at least some time every day with different people in a variety of activities. Volunteer at the local animal shelter. Spearhead a drive to raise funds at your church or school. Lead in donating to worthy causes. This attracts people to you of a positive nature.
6. Minimize criticisms and complaints.
People are attracted to what makes them feel good. When you criticize or complain, they usually feel the opposite of good. We all know people who are a drag to be around because they dampen the spirit or bring dark clouds that make people want to flee, simply because they are never happy unless they are complaining or reciting a tale of woe. Do not be that person. Keep your criticisms to a minimum and when you must find fault, always focus only on the actions, behavior, or the incident. Do not indict a person’s character, even if they deserve it. They may become your friend because you refused to criticize or complain about them.
7. Don’t be afraid to admit you are wrong.
It takes a big person to admit guilt. It is just anathema to human nature to be wrong. We don’t like the stigma associated with being wrong. If we were punished severely as kids, that makes it even harder to accept culpability for anything. Yet, people love it when a person can say those words, “I was wrong.” It’s refreshing. It denotes humility. And since people are like mirrors, they may respond in kind. If you say it was your fault, they may fall all over themselves to prove to you that it was more their fault than yours.
8. Take on new challenges
We love underdogs because they are not afraid to lose. They put it all on the line and they give it everything they have. We love the underdog because they are us. They are our heroes because they represent who we are when we overcome our most overwhelming fears. When we are around people who don’t run from a fight or a challenge, it makes us want to stand up and cheer them, especially when they are fighting nobly for what is right–their family, their home, or their cause.
Find the boldness to go after what you want, and even if you lose, fight like the devil to let them know you were there. Even your worst enemies can respect you when they know you put it all on the floor. It’s like when Thanos fought Tony Stark, the Iron Man. Stark didn’t have a real shot at beating the titan, but he gave it all he had and even got the world conqueror to bleed, something that even the Hulk had failed to do. Thanos said to Tony Stark, ” You have my respect, Stark. When I’m done half of humanity will still be alive. I hope they remember you.”
When you use these 8 practical ways of making friends, rest assured you will have the respect of countless friends who remember you long after you are gone.